SEND IASS - Meeting preparation and support factsheet

Meetings can be the best way to make things happen for your child. You may be invited to meetings at your child's school or setting. You may also want to request a meeting to discuss any issues or concerns you have.

This factsheet has been produced to give you some ideas on how to prepare for these meetings to get the best out of them.

You have the right to request a meeting with any professional involved with your child. You may wish to discuss problems at school or worries about progress. You may wish to talk to a health professional to discuss other concerns. Ask yourself these basic questions:

• what do I need to discuss?
• who do I want to meet with to discuss it?
• how do I organise it?
• are there any special arrangements that need to be made so that I can go to the meeting?

Work out exactly what the problem is and why you feel you need to have the meeting. Write it down. This will help if you need to send a letter or email to request the meeting. Be clear as you can be about your reasons for needing the meeting.

SEND Information Advice and Support Service can always help with this if you feel unclear and want to talk it through.

If the problem is related to school, you may want to meet with the class teacher or the Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator (SENCO).

If you don't know who the SENCO is call the school and ask for their name and best time to talk to them. If the problem is related to health issues you may need to speak to your child's Doctor or Specialist Nurse.

You can request the meeting by calling or emailing the relevant people and organising a date and time.

You can request a meeting in writing, giving your availability.

Ask people to get back to you to tell you when the meeting should go ahead. If you have involvement from professionals, you may have been allocated a Key Worker or Lead Professional. They can request the meeting and organise it on your behalf.

Keep a diary to make sure you have no other appointments that might clash with the meeting.

If you need help because of a disability or sensory impairment, remember to tell the people holding the meeting to make sure they organise what is needed.

If English is not your first language or you find it difficult, you can ask for an interpreter to help you. This may take some time to arrange for you so remember to ask for this well ahead of the meeting.

It is best to be prepared for any meeting. You should:

• ask the person holding the meeting what it is about if you are not sure
• ask who will be there and why - If you feel there should be a particular person at the meeting, ask for them to be invited
• read any reports that are sent to you before the meeting, highlighting anything that needs explaining
• plan what you are going to say - be clear about what you are going to ask and what you want to discuss, for example 'What progress has he made on his Individual Education Plan (IEP) or Education, Health and Care (EHC) Plan in the last term?'
• make a short list of your concerns, questions, and suggestions so that you don't forget to talk about them when you go into the meeting. Use reports from professionals to help back you up where possible

Your child's views

Talk to your child so that you can share their views at the meeting and ask any questions on their behalf.

Taking people with you

You may want to take your partner, a friend or advisor with you for support. This is especially helpful when a major decision is going to be made.

If you feel you might lose your temper or become emotional during the meeting, take someone with you for support and guidance The person with you will be able to take notes at the meeting. This can be a great help for you as you may not be able to remember everything after the meeting.

It is important to always try to attend meetings as it is your chance to have your say.

When you are at the meetings:

• everyone at the meeting should be introduced to you but if not ask who each person is and what their connection is with your child
• when giving your views start with things that are going well - this sets a positive tone
• ask people to repeat or explain anything you do not understand
• ask for any jargon to be explained
• write things down if you need to, including any questions you have
• if reports or any new paperwork are brought to the meeting, ask for time to read them.
• if the information is new or very important ask for the meeting to be put back to another time or date to give you time to go through them
• don't forget you are a professional too - you are the parent, and you know your child in a way they do not
• if you disagree with people about their views do not be afraid to say so - if you think what they are suggesting will not work discuss it with them. Ask them why they have suggested these things
• if you do not understand how a person came to a conclusion, ask them to explain it - continue to ask questions until you are sure what they are saying. Your friend or supporter might also be able to ask for things to be explained more fully.
• try to keep calm even if you are feeling angry or upset
• try to make your points in a clam and polite way and ask for a break to collect your thoughts if you need to   
• be realistic about what you can ask for and be prepared to negotiate about what will be done
• be prepared to be flexible and suggest different options and alternatives
• try to be positive with the other people present and thank them for their help

When the meeting is finished think about what has been discussed. Have you said all you want to say? Make sure all the points you wanted to discuss have been covered.

Ask the person chairing the meeting to summarise what will happen and who will do what. How this will be reviewed? Will there be a further meeting?

If there will be a written report or minutes of the meeting, make sure a copy will be sent to you.

Check through any notes or paperwork you have, and any actions points with dates. Talk to your child about what is going to happen and how it will help them. Even if there are only small changes it is important for them to be involved.

If you would like further information, advice, or support, please contact Stockton Special Educational Needs and Disability, Information, Advice and Support Service (SEND IASS):

• by phone:01642 527158
• by email sendiass@stockton.gov.uk